Using morning routine to model

My Lad has been home from college so I have modelled each morning

He is now responding to the prompts in the sentence bar fetching his own clothes and getting dressed and also asking about brush teeth himself. He is accepting a shave which is very difficult for him using his p2go 

I need to get college to continue with this. 

When your carer can't do something u can!

My carer is doing a challenge this month and can't eat meat so couldn't have bacon for breakfast like she wanted when we was at the hotel yesterday..... She has been busy using my device to model and encourage me to talk again...

It worked!

I was really interested in what Amy had to say and she was making me laugh because she was slow finding what she wanted to say! I took great pleasure in being able to tell her I had eaten bacon and it tasted good!! 

Might be only one thing I said but I said it unprompted and it's one more thing I said than the day before! 

We're moving forward......

Proud of myself today I managed to say 6 things using my iPad which compared to the zero it has been is a huge step in the right direction! I've been having a pinch attack most times after communicating but I'm getting better and calming down faster with just a few times of catching my breath and some reassurance and I'm ok again until the next time......

This is what I said to my carer unprompted!!!! When we started this Wednesday I couldn't even tolerate the iPad to be turned on so I'm very proud of this!

It doesn't all have to be serious here is me and my carer playing around on proloquo2gowith a hip hop voice getting him to say things it was making me laugh yes it was still tough but it's getting better and I'm working through the anxiety I'm getting and trying to forget about the chest pains and funny sensations it is causing in my body I need to do this and I am doing it!! 

We're using a reward system to help me get talking again I'm well on my way to getting breakfast out next week! Wish me luck!!

Through the good and bad times....

Hi everyone bouncy pony here it's been a really really tough day and when I say tough I mean a 2 hour meltdown..... All because my carer made me take my iPad out with me to be able to speak when out...... Now what u may not understand and the parts to me that you don't see is the anxious , agitated, stressed, scared feeling I get around needing to communicate.... I have refused to take my device out with me slowly over the last few weeks where I'm now at the point where because of my selective mutism and the anxieties surrounding communication how ever that may be I will not take my iPad out of my house and most definitely won't turn it on!!! My carer knows how much it helps me to talk and my behaviour has got worse and worse without me communicating and I'm really struggling to cope so she knew she had to start somewhere and that was today the deal was I took my iPad out with me I didn't have to use it but I had to take it out.... Within 10 minutes of being out she had to pullover in the car and I had one of my worst meltdowns in a long time.... I wanted you all to see its not all rosy and cosy in my world all of the time in fact a lot of the time I am on a daily battle just to ask for a drink! After I calmed down I managed to relax a bit more and got used to wearing my device again and at the end of the day I managed to have it turned on for 1 hour.... This caused huge anxieties and near enough a panic attack because I wanted to turn it off so it was a blank screen again.... But my carer talked to me and we worked through the feelings I had and the fear I felt until it wasn't so scary after all. We listened to my favourite music in the car and by the time I got home I was so proud of myself for doing it! While it may seem like nothing to you it is HUGE to me this is the first step into talking again which will be gradual but slowly and surely I'll be back and happier than I am now..... It's never to late to learn to talk and it's not a smooth path when there is autism AND selective mutism involved but those who love and care for you will need to buckle there seat belts and hold on the ride!! It's sure to be a bumpy one! I hope u will join me on my road to talking again.... 

A day In the woods was needed for peace and quiet and no talking needed!!

The not so glamorous side of autism... When I managed to bite a chunk of my hand while my carer was looking for my chewy I can bite when I'm stressed...... This is the side people don't share but this is a side I think you all need to see so you know I'm a normal human being with autism and a lot of difficulties despite I learnt to speak through my device unless it's consistent it soon becomes a HUGE fear! 

Speak to u again soon! Bouncy pony 

Repetitive, maybe, worthwhile, definitely, age appropriate....oh yes 😀

Had some friends over today. This meant we had 4 children of differing special needs all together. I had put an art table up, we also had some music to dance to on....this was okay, but bluebell spent the time looking out of the window, it was quite obviously far too overwhelming for her.

I decided to redirect her to her iPad, she came and sat at the table with us, and predictably, pressed the same old, same old, 'I want boyfriend ******'. This caused much hilarity with her friends, this then led to writing boys names down, and a general laugh and chat about boys. Typical teenage behaviour if you ask me 😉

When talking stops for a while.....

You haven't heard from me for a while I'm having a really tough time with my health and also had to have my best friend my beloved golden Labrador dog put to sleep yesterday..... That hurt so much she was my everything. 

I've not been talking all week and refusing to take my iPad out but with a lot of encouraging I took it out today and managed to say 4 things it may not seem a lot but for someone with selective mutism who closes up at any sign of stress that is 4 more than I said Thursday...... I'm going to try my best to get back to talking I do miss it in some ways..... What is hardest for me is people telling me to talk and not bottle my feelings up and self injure but how do I do that when talking has never come naturally to me in 25 years..... How can I get someone else to understand how I feel if I don't understand myself? Times are hard but I'm trying my best! 

This is my beautiful dog Millie